My Instict (also My Mission Statement)

This is a paper I wrote for an Eng 102 class a couple of years ago. The assignment was to write a paper to convince our classmates to pick (from a list) the subject for our first essay, and yes, I did win.

Definitly, read the whole thing-it's not very long.

Jonathan Dunn
English 102
1/27/06

Two years down and two to go; I'm half way through my college experience. I do not like college like I did high school. High school was this great experience; everyday was an adventurous mess of void. There were no responsibilities or pressure as I casually blew through high school. Being a Special Ed. kid I ditched when I wanted with no consequences and school came easy to me. High School was a four year celebration of my youth. When I graduated I decided to go for round 2 in this crazy institution mislabeled as education, so I applied at the University of New Mexico and couldn't wait to do absolutely nothing for four more years.

"The party's over slacker. Get out of bed and get to class," my mom yelled at me two years ago on the first day of classes at my Auschwitz, "Oh yeah, and on your way home why don't you get a job and pick up a gallon of milk." This had begun my four year (now looking like five or six years) celebration of confusion, responsibility and oldness (and some bad grammar randomly thrown in). I wanted women, parties and more women but instead I traded those in for homework, kids, and a 401K. Okay, so I'm exaggerating a little bit, but hey this is a paper and I want it to sound good.

What it all comes down to, is God created some people to be teachers or lawyers or women and lots of other boring things, but a few fortunate people in this world he created to be slackers, and that's me. This is my purpose in life. I'm not good at a lot of things but I am quite gifted in this field. My instinct (also my Mission Statement) on this matter, like on everything else in life is to do what's easier, cheaper, and faster.

What it comes down to ladies and gentleman is that if we choose to do our papers on the topic of the Death Penalty we don't have to read anything but only have to listen to speakers in class. You should trust my expertise on this; I've been in the field of slacker for 21 years. I mean you already have to go to class (they take attendance), so let's get our work done while we're in class listening to guest speakers instead of having to go home and do this modern method of torture-reading. I mean it's already saving me time. Everyone else in the class probably wasted like 15 minutes skimming through the book on the given topics. All I had to do was look at the Table of Contents and realize that there were no essays on this topic. In conclusion, whether you're for the death penalty or not, I know you're for more free time so choose this as the topic of our first essay. Ah, another successful mission completed, now I get to use all my free time thinking of more ways to make more free time-the joys of life!

To see the original posting of this click here This is Funny.